


...Is That A Cat?

by cantthinkofausername_B_Pike



Series: Carry On Countdown 2017 [15]
Category: Carry On - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Carry On Countdown, Drabble, Fluff, Gen, Pre-Slash, set fifth year, there's a cat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-09
Updated: 2017-12-09
Packaged: 2019-02-12 17:14:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 967
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12964395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cantthinkofausername_B_Pike/pseuds/cantthinkofausername_B_Pike
Summary: Simon is stalking Baz (as you do) when he finds a cat in the woods. He can't just leave it out in the cold.





	...Is That A Cat?

**Author's Note:**

> Day 15 of the Countdown: pets/animals. I tried to write domestic fluff, and then this happened. Oh well.

_Crunch._ Leaves brittle with cold snapped under Simon’s feet. How did Baz manage to be so quiet? Ahead of him, Baz silently glided through the trees, almost invisible except when a shaft of moonlight managed to pierce the canopy. 

Simon knew Baz had been sneaking out of their room at night for a while. Tonight, he decided that since he followed him everywhere else anyways, he might as well see where he went in the dead of night. This was his one chance to prove to everyone that Baz was a vampire – he couldn’t catch him in the act any other time, but there was no other conceivable reason that Baz would go to the Wavering Wood in the middle of the night.

This really was getting a bit ridiculous, Simon reflected. If Baz was a vampire, the anathema would prevent him from hurting Simon anyway, and if he wasn’t, there was no reason for Simon to be stalking through the Wavering Wood in his pajamas. Especially not when it was so cold. Every breath was a puff of steam in the air. But, well, he was already here. Might as well see what Baz was up to.

Slowly, Simon became aware of a low rumbling noise off to his left. He looked around, but couldn’t see anything out of the ordinary. He couldn’t see much at all, really, because the leaves on the trees blocked out almost all of the light. The rumbling became louder the farther he walked. With every step, Simon looked over his shoulder. He’d seen enough horror movies to know how this ends.

_Meow._

Wait, what? Was there a _cat_ out here?

_Meow!_ The cat repeated, louder than before. If it didn’t stop that, it was going to get eaten by whatever monster was out here. Which would save Simon, but it was just a cat. It didn’t deserve to get eaten any more than Simon did.

After a few more, increasingly desperate-sounding _meow_ s, Simon found the cat nestled in the roots of a tree. It had curled itself into a tiny ball of dark fur, probably to conserve heat, and its eyes were tightly shut. Simon knelt down next to it, and it opened its left eye, fearfully watching him.

“Hey, it’s okay, it’s all right,” Simon whispered. “You’re just a kitten!” 

He slowly reached out towards the cat. At first, it recoiled warily from his hand, but after a second began to sniff his fingers. Its nose was wet.

“Aww, you’re a good kitty, aren’t you?” Simon crooned as the cat rubbed its head on his hand. “It’s cold out here, isn’t it?” The cat solemnly stared into his eyes, agreeing. Expertly, Simon scooped the cat up. “You shouldn’t have to be outside on a night like this. I’ll take you someplace nice and warm.” The cat curled up in his arms, determined to absorb as much of Simon’s ever-present warmth as it could.

He’d lost track of Baz while he was talking to the cat, so Simon made his own way back to Watford. He got lost a couple times, but he’d accidentally blazed enough of a trail on his way out that it was fairly easy to follow. Back in their room, Simon placed the cat on Baz’s bed (wouldn’t that surprise him when he got back) before falling asleep.

 

***

 

“Snow,” Baz asked his voice cutting through the thick haze of sleep covering Simon’s mind, “why in Crowley’s name do you have a purple cat on you?”

“I don’t,” he replied. Though there was certainly something very warm lying on his stomach. Something very warm and making a rumbling noise.

Simon cracked his eyes open. Baz had clearly also just woken up; he was still burrowed in his mound of blankets, and his hair was sticking in every direction. Turning to look at his own bed, Simon realized Baz was right. Laying on his stomach and purring loudly was one small, violently purple cat.

“What the…?”

“Why is there a cat in our room?”

“Well, it was really cold last night, and I couldn’t just leave it in the woods,” Simon began.

Baz sat bolt upright. “Why were you in the woods last night?” His tone was nonchalant, but his body language revealed his concern.

“Um,” Simon said.

“Were you _stalking_ me?” He dramatically flopped back down on his bed.

“No?”

“Don’t you have better things to do, like sleep or spend time with your girlfriend or something?”

“I have to prove that you’re a vampire!” Simon said petulantly.

“How many times must I tell you, Snow? I am _not_ a vampire.”

“You won’t drain my cat, will you?”

“I cannot believe you. As I _just_ told you, I am not a vampire, and even if I _was_ , I wouldn’t hurt your cat. I’m not _barbaric_.”

The cat opened its eyes and blinked slowly at Baz. With all three of its eyes.

“I’m not even going to ask,” Baz said, exasperated. “Only you would bring home a purple, three-eyed cat.”

“It was cold, okay? And it was dark.”

“What are you going to do with it? Put it back in the Wood?”

The cat purred louder and spread out to cover even more of Simon’s stomach. He had the funny feeling that it knew what they were saying. 

“I don’t think it wants to go back out there.”

“So you’re just... what? Going to keep the cat in our room?” Baz clearly had no idea what to do and was trying to cover up his confusion. Simon thought it was hilarious.

“I guess. It can’t be too hard.”

“Just you wait. I’m not helping with this, you brought it on yourself.”

“Fine.”

“Fine.”

Simon sighed and looked at the cat. What was he going to do now?

**Author's Note:**

> tbh my idea for this was "they find khoshekh" and I ran with it. (am i spelling that right?) for those of you who don't know, khoshekh is the cat from night vale.


End file.
